


i can't help but want oceans to part

by wafflesofdoom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6407911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesofdoom/pseuds/wafflesofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in the aftermath of the wedding that wasn't, alec and magnus share a drink and a conversation. </p><p>post 1x12.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i can't help but want oceans to part

Alec couldn’t help feeling a little deflated after speaking to his parents, the promise of a date with Magnus keeping a smile on his face, but he couldn’t help the knot of worry in his chest that formed as his mind whirled, wondering whether his mother was ever going to forgive him. 

He knew he shouldn’t care. Alec deserved to be happy, he knew he did - but family was family, and the idea that he’d disappointed his mom so completely definitely make him anxious. 

“Alexander.” 

A soft voice brought him back to reality, and Alec turned to look at Magnus. He couldn’t believe that this confident, _gorgeous_ warlock wanted **him** , an awkward, lanky Shadowhunter. 

“How about we get that drink?” Magnus offered, smiling at him. “Get out of here, all this wedding paraphernalia is making me queasy."

Alec nodded, wanting to get out of the institute for a while at least. He watched as Magnus opened a portal, and he followed Magnus through the swirling purple magic, letting out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding as he stepped into Magnus’ apartment, away from the institute and the aftermath of his decision. 

Magnus immediately busied himself making drinks, Alec standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. He tugged at the sleeves of his shirt, the white materialfeeling constrictive to him, making it hard for him to relax.

“Now,” Magnus said, offering Alec one of the wine glasses. “The world _will_ look better after a drink, darling.” 

Alec accepted the glass, still feeling uncomfortable.

“Talk to me, Alexander.” 

“I wish I’d gotten changed.” Alec admitted, gesturing at his wedding clothes. He didn't want to be reminded of the mistake he'd almost made earlier that evening, be reminded of how he'd let his family and Lydia down. 

Magnus nodded. “I’m sure I have something you can wear,” He murmured, raising an eyebrow. “You’re _quite_ a bit taller than I am, but nothing a bit of magic can’t fix, hm?”

He bustled toward his bedroom, and Alec shuffled awkwardly behind him, pausing in the doorway, watching as Magnus rooted through his drawers. After a few minutes Magnus produced a pair of maroon coloured sweatpants, and a light grey t-shirt - unusually dull colours for Magnus, but still brighter than Alec himself would have liked. 

Magnus offered Alec the clothes, which he accepted gratefully. “Don’t worry,” Magnus teased. “I’ll turn my back.” 

Alec flushed, averting his gaze, the floor suddenly becoming very interesting to him. 

“Alexander, where has your confidence gone?” Magnus said, a gentle hand on Alec’s waist. “You kissed me _senseless_ less than an hour ago, and now you’re barely able to make eye contact with me.”

“I think the adrenaline rush is gone.” Alec admitted, the material of Magnus’ clothes soft in his hands. 

“I’ll leave you to get changed, and then we can talk.” Magnus said, turning around and exiting his bedroom with his usual confident flair, leaving Alec alone. 

Alec set his glass down on the dresser, unbuttoning his shirt with nervous fingers. He tugged the t-shirt on, grateful that it was long enough for him. He repeated the process with the sweatpants, his feet bare as he discarded his dress shoes along with the rest of his wedding clothes. 

Magnus’ clothes were nice. They were soft, and thick, and they were far nicer than anything that hung in his wardrobe at the institute. Alec had never been much of a fan of shopping, or clothes, or god forbid, fashion, preferring comfort over style. 

But he felt good in Magnus’ clothes. Maybe it was because they smelled faintly of sandalwood, the spicy scent oddly comforting to him. 

Grabbing his glass of wine, Alec padded toward the living room, where Magnus was lounging on the couch, his jacket discarded and his legs stretched out in front of him. He grinned at Alec has he entered the room, patting the couch next to him. 

Alec offered him an awkward smile, easing himself down onto the couch. “So.”

“So.” Magnus echoed, turning his head slightly to the side, looking at Alec expectantly. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Alec admitted, swirling the red liquid around his glass. “I’ve never been on a date.”

“I’m delighted to be your first, Alexander.” 

“You’re my first _everything_ , Magnus.” Alec said quietly, his gaze flickering to Magnus’ lips. 

“I wouldn’t have known.” Magnus said, his tone lighthearted. “What you lack in technique, you certainly made up for in passion, darling.” 

Alec rolled his eyes, a bright flush rising in his cheeks again. 

“Anyway,” Magnus said, his voice low, and sultry. “Practise makes perfect.”

Alec looked at him carefully, pressing his lips together tightly.

“Come here.”

Alec shuffled closer to Magnus, not protesting when Magnus took his glass, setting both of them on the coffee table. He didn’t move as Magnus leaned in, brushing his lips against Alec’s softly. 

It was calmer, gentler than their first kiss had been, the desperation and determination of the moment gone. Alec melted into Magnus’ touch, completely overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sensation of kissing someone. 

“You drive me crazy, Alexander.” Magnus murmured as they broke apart, their faces only inches apart.

Alec’s eyes widened, the surprise clear on his face. “I do?”

“You’re an _exquisite_ individual, Alexander.” Magnus said, reaching out to brush Alec’s dark hair off his forehead, his touch sending blue sparks flying. Alec flinched slightly, the magic unexpected, but not an entirely unwelcome feeling. 

“Sorry,” Magnus apologised. “Seems I don’t have _total_ control of myself around you.”

Alec looked amazed. “Thats okay.”

“I’m proud of you, Alexander.” Magnus offered after a moment’s silence. “You did something so incredibly brave today, kissing me.”

Alec smiled. “I just - I finally realised I deserve a chance at happiness too.”

“ _Everyone_ deserves a chance at happiness, even Shadowhunters.” 

“We’re not really raised to believe that.” Alec replied, fidgeting with the hem of his borrowed t-shirt. 

Magnus reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Then I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“So am I.” Alec admitted, his smile wide. “I feel like a weight’s been lifted - like I can actually be happy, and not **hide** , not worry about everyone finding out.”

“Find out about what?” Magnus knew the answer, but there was a selfish part of him that wanted to hear Alec say it aloud, and Alec knew that - but there was a part of him that wanted to say it aloud too, admit it to the world for the first time. 

“Find out that I’m gay.” Alec said, the word unfamiliar as it slipped past his lips. “I’m gay.” He repeated, his expression one of wonder.

“That feel good?” Magnus said knowingly, remembering how right it had felt when he’d discovered the word bisexual, how he’d felt finally having a word to define who he was. Labels _mattered_ to a lot of people, and Alec most definitely fell into that category. 

Alec nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Everything will be fine, Alexander.” 

“Yeah.” Alec looked at Magnus, actually believing the warlock’s reassurance. He felt happy, at ease, for the first time - the first time in his life, honestly. “I think it probably will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> after watching the kiss scene approximately 635 times today, i couldn't get this fic out of my head. i never actually finished reading the books, so this alec and magnus are entirely tv verse. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


End file.
